Believe it or not: This is THE Most Soul-Crushing Part of Narcissistic Abuse

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If you are or have ever been involved in any sort of relationship with a toxic narcissist, there’s a chance that you’ve been educating yourself on what you’re dealing with.

Between the gaslighting, the narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury and the flying monkeys of it all, you’re probably thinking you already know the worst part of being in this awful situation.

But the truth is that all of the name calling, verbal cut-downs and narcissistic control that you deal with are only the beginning – and as horribly painful as they can feel, the absolute worst part of being mentally and emotionally abused by a narcissist comes down to one thing: the devalue phase.

Why do I say this? I mean, after all, we already know that every part of the narcissistic abuse cycle can literally become debilitating.

But, it’s about more than that – it’s about validation.

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It’s when you talk and you get only grunts in response. Nothing that actually indicates the narc has heard you or understood you – just a pause and a breath.

He’s just waiting until it’s his turn to talk again, after all. He could care less what’s happening inside your head – he only wants to know that you’re there for him.

If you think back, you might remember that, if you asked him (or he volunteered) how he felt about you, he always said things like:

  • I love the way you make me feel.
  • I love how you always listen.
  • I love that you’re always there when I need you.
  • I love how you take care of me.
  • Etc.

See how there wasn’t really anything about YOU PERSONALLY there?

And it’s not that you should really care or even feel offended – I mean, it’s just the narcissist’s “way” right?

Well, that would be the case if you didn’t seem to catch the narc appearing to genuinely connect with other people when he’s more of a brick wall when it comes to understanding YOU.

He will be nice to them. He will seem to have empathy for them and if you dare to even bat an eyelash the wrong way in regard to those people? He will tell you HOW THEY FEEL! And still, when it comes to you, the narc seems to have a blind spot, as far as you can tell.

But then you start to wonder. What’s so bad about me? Am I really as (insert insulting lie here – crazy/lazy/ugly/bitchy/stupid, etc.) the narc says I am?

So, by devaluing and disregarding you with those subtle little behaviors, the narcissist achieves his goal: to beat you down emotionally and mold you into the good little supply he wants.

And once he does, the happiness you hope he’ll find will never quite arrive. Because the more you try to become perfect for a narcissist, the more he loses respect for you.

Over time, he will have you believing that you’re not even an actual human who even deserves to be treated with even the most basic dignity. And you will find yourself acting in kind as you desperately seek to justify it to yourself with thoughts of personal change and self-sacrifice.

You rack your brain on ways YOU can change in order to elicit change from him.

But here’s the thing – none of that will matter unless both people are willing to give.

You can only change so much without any reciprocation at all. Compromise means two parties come to mutually agreeable resolution in which both parties get what they want. Otherwise it’s just you giving and giving and him taking. Feel me?

Categories: Health Updates

Silent Treatment: Preferred Weapon of People with Narcissism

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For those in or getting out of a romantic relationship with a self-absorbed individual, the silent treatment can feel like a punishment worse than death.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight. Often, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control.

couple crisis

The target, who may possess high emotional intelligence, empathy,conflict-resolution skills, and the ability to compromise, may work diligently to respond to the deafening silence. He or she may frequently reach out to the narcissistic person via email, phone, or text to resolve greatly inflated misunderstandings, and is typically met with continued disdain, contempt, and silence. Essentially, the narcissistic person’s message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

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The emotional maturity of a typical narcissistic person is akin to a 5-year-old child who pouts and refuses to play with a friend in the sandbox because the friend wants to share the pail and shovel. The 5-year-old refuses to talk with the friend and angrily storms off to play on the jungle gym with someone else. The bewildered child with the pail and shovel may feel confused, rejected, and may not understand why they can’t share. He or she just wanted to build a sand castle together.

Because no further communication can ensue unless and until the narcissistic person decides to give the target another chance, a false sense of control is nurtured. Often, the narcissistic person will demand that the target apologize for whatever inflated transgression the target may have committed (the target may have set a limit or asserted a boundary against emotional abuse, for example). Sometimes, a person with narcissistic qualities will decide to abandon and discard the relationship when his or her partner presents an ultimatum or attempts resolution requiring compromise. The person with narcissism may prefer to end the relationship and start over rather than be in a position of potential abandonment. The 5-year-old storms off and plays with a new, innocent target on the swing set. It is too much work to share the pail and shovel.

So how does one deal with the silent treatment from a person with narcissism? For those leaving a toxic relationship with such an individual, many therapists suggest that the survivor understand that the person with narcissism has not developed the ability to express a high level of empathy, reciprocity, and compromise. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that no one deserves nor should tolerate. If an individual experiences this absence of communication, it is a sure sign that he or she needs to move on and heal.

The healing process can feel like mourning the loss of a relationship that did not really exist and was one-way in favor of theego-massaging person with narcissism. The minute the partner disagrees with the narcissistic person or asserts his or her healthy boundaries, the narcissistic person deploys an arsenal of abuse tactics. The silent treatment is a favorite weapon.

Do not accept emotional abuse. Know that you are worthy of a healthy relationship with someone who can communicate in a mature, emotionally healthy manner. Play with someone who has the ability to share the shovel and pail. You deserve no less.

Categories: Health Updates

Could a Fungus Be Causing Crohn’s Disease?

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Crohn’s disease is a serious condition in which the immune system attacks and destroys portions of the intestines, causing pain, bleeding, diarrhea, fevers, and more—for reasons that are far from clear.


Now, new research suggests that a fungus may play a role in triggering this inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), which affects as many as 700,000 Americans. Crohn’s can happen at any age, even during childhood, although it’s most often diagnosed in teens or young adults.

An international research team found a link between a fungus, called Candida tropicalis, andCrohn’s disease in humans. (Previously, fungi have only been linked to the disease in mice.)

“Our study adds significant new information to understanding why some people develop Crohn’s disease,” the study’s senior author, Mahmoud Ghannoum, PhD, said in a news release. The findings could lead to new treatments, said Ghannoum, a professor and director of the Center for Medical Mycology at Case Western Reserve and University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center.

In the study, the researchers analyzed fecal samples from nine families in France and Belgium. They included 20 Crohn’s patients and 28 close relatives who did not have the disease. They also examined samples from 21 Crohn’s-free individuals from four families living in same region.

Normal human intestines contain hundreds of bacteria and fungi species (known as the microbiome), which help digest food and protect against disease-causing germs. The researchers found an association between two types of bacteria, Escherichia coli and Serratia marcescens, and the fungus, C. tropicalis. Levels of these three were higher in family members with the disease, suggesting that they interact in the intestines. Further lab testing suggests that the bacterial-fungal trio forms a thin, slimy film. When that “biofilm” clings to a portion of the intestines, it may cause inflammation that results in Crohn’s disease symptoms, the news release noted.

“We know that intestinal microbial agents have a key role in causing IBD, but only a limited number of the enormously complex bacteria, viruses, and fungi have been identified and their functions are largely unknown,” said Caren Heller, MD, chief scientific officer of the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America, in a statement. “This study suggests that not only do viruses and bacteria play a role in the development of inflammatory bowel diseases in some patients but fungi may as well.”

Researchers also found that the gut profiles of Crohn’s patients and their healthy relatives were distinctly different from those of unrelated healthy people. But that may simply reflect the shared diet and environment of family members, authors noted.

“More studies of additional patients and among different cohorts must be conducted in order to validate these findings and their importance in development of future treatments and cures of IBD,” Dr. Heller’s statement said.

A number of factors have been linked to a higher risk of Crohn’s, including bacteria, genes, smoking, and exposure to antibiotics early in life.

The study was published Sept. 20 in mBio, a journal of the American Society for Microbiology.

Categories: Health Updates

5 Steps to a Successful Gluten-Free Transition

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Going gluten-free is tough. REAL tough. Even though you know it’s the right thing to do, whether due to a Gluten-Sensitivity or Celiac Disease, cutting out gluten-filled food is extremely difficult. It’s also difficult to simply know WHAT IS gluten-free. There are A LOT of things one needs to wrap their head around when transitioning to a gluten-free diet, and the below five steps will aid them in the process.

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1. Know what a gluten-free diet will do for you.

There are a variety of reasons one may go on a gluten-free diet, but the end result is all the same. Whether you go gluten-free because of a diagnosis or because you have simply found that gluten doesn’t agree with you, the steps to success are similar.

You will be asked my many people what the point of a gluten-free diet is. They might label you as a Celiac, hipster, or a picky-eater. Sometimes you might feel like an outcast. Don’t.

Know the benefits a gluten-free diet brings to your health. Remind yourself of that whenever you feel resistance from others. Be confident in your decision to be healthy.

2. Know the basics.

Many will say, “You can’t have gluten? That’s in everything, isn’t it?!”

There is a misconception that gluten equates to tasty, and without it our taste-buds are doomed. The thing that others don’t realize is that we have a wide variety of foods we still CAN eat. I still throw down at a barbecue. I can eat a platter of nachos like nobody’s business. I love a big, juicy steak. Do those things sound like they don’t taste good? They are ALL gluten-free, and definitely don’t lack in the taste department.

When people tell you that your life sucks (because let’s be honest, that’s what theyou can’t eat anything remark does), fire back at them. Rattle off the food that is naturally gluten-free. Inform them that gluten-free substitutes are available for just about every product imaginable.

When people tell me I can’t have bread or pasta, I tell them that I actually eat bread every morning, and I make a mean pasta dish with gluten-free noodles.

Gluten-free does not mean doomed for life.

3. Focus on the positives.

One of the most difficult things in the beginning of the gluten-free diet is missing the convenience that gluten-filled food provides.

Traveling seems like a chore. Late night food runs may no longer be feasible. Dinners out with friends turn into a question of where can I eat?

The beginning of my gluten-free diet was filled with the above complaints. I missed being able to enjoy all of the simple things that others took for granted. But, after I would throw my taste-buds a pity party, I would remember the aftermath of eating the above foods. It was comparable to H-E-double hockey sticks. Why would anyone complain about NOT having to experience that pain anymore?

When I would think about the positives of a gluten-free diet and not focus on the negatives, it didn’t seem that hard anymore.

4. Prepare for success.

When you prepare for success, you achieve it. This applies to anything you wish to accomplish, whether it is passing a test, nailing a presentation, or eating a healthy diet. Things take time. You get out what you put in.

So, what’s more important than your health? Prepare for success. If you know you’re going to have a long day, pack extra gluten-free snacks to help you get through. If you are traveling, pack your go-to snacks to last throughout the trip. We fall into temptation when we feel weak. Don’t let yourself feel weak.

I’ve been there. You think to yourself Will I really get THAT sick? What’s one little piece of pizza going to do? Man, oh man, you don’t want to know what one piece of pizza can do. Bad things. VERY bad things.

So how do I no longer fall into temptation, get depressed, or even have the slightest urge to eat gluten in times of desperation? I plan ahead. Prepare. Know what my day ahead will bring and pack accordingly. I remind myself the risk vs. reward. It just ISN’T worth it.

5. Value your health.

Above all, you have to believe in yourself and what you are doing. You have to value your health more than convenience. Don’t that a second of satisfaction cause you to fall into temptation.

Remind yourself of the benefits that a gluten-free diet provides, and how you are a stronger person because of it.

Categories: Health Updates

Researchers Aim to Spot Markers for Cutaneous Lymphomas That Would Aid Treatment

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Prognostic markers for primary cutaneous lymphomas would considerably help patients by aiding clinicians’ understanding as to how their disease is progressing, which means better tailored therapies. A team at the Medical University of Vienna is conducting several studies in an effort to unravel such markers.

Primary cutaneous lymphomas are cancers of the lymphatic system that occur in the skin. They are rare cancers whose causes are usually unknown, being classified by the type of lymphocyte involved, which may be either B-cell or T-cells.

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“In the early stage of the disease, the prognosis is excellent and normal life expectancy is hardly affected,” Constanze Jonak of MedUni Vienna’s Department of Dermatology, said in a press release. “But when the disease is advanced, the 5-year survival rate drops to 0 to 39 percent, and the disease is terminal.”

Cutaneous lymphomas are a subset of non-Hodgkin’s lymphomas that are always associated with skin rashes and severe itching, which often mimics eczema or chronic dermatitis. In advanced stages, they may result in skin tumors, ulcerations, and exfoliation that are complicated by itching and infections. Treatments available for these patients are limited, and when available, the disease progresses after short periods of time.

In a previous study, the researchers discovered some prognostic values. Now they are participating in the largest international study ever conducted to establish a prognostic index for patients with cutaneous lymphomas.

The team is also focusing on other particularities of the disease. In one project, they are surveying cutaneous lymphoma patients not only to assess their quality of life, but, for the first time, to also understand patients’ perception of their disease, how they experience the disease, and how they cope with it.

In another, they investigated the benefits of Rituxan (rituximab), an antibody that targets the CD20 molecule at the surface of B-cells, inducing their destruction. The results were very encouraging, with Rituxan providing the longest after-care periods for patients with cutaneous B-cell lymphomas ever observer.

“The treatment was very successful in the majority of patients. Recurrences were quite common but patients responded to the therapy once more,” Jonak said.

The research community is working tirelessly to discover and test groundbreaking Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma therapies that could potentially improve patient outcomes and lead to an eventual cure. And yet, many Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma patients are unaware that clinical trials are currently enrolling patients to test these experimental therapies. To find out more on how to participate in these clinical trials,visit this website for more information.
Categories: Health Updates

Sarepta’s Costly Muscular Dystrophy Drug Flirts With Big Pharma M&A

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Sarepta Therapeutics‘ (SPRT) high-priced treatment for Duchenne muscular dystrophy could garner some M&A attention, RBC analyst Simos Simeonidis said Wednesday, estimating more than $1 billion in potential sales for the drug despite lingering insurance concerns.

Sarepta's high-priced muscular dystrophy drug could make the company a buyout target. (©science photo - Fotolia/

Last week, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Exondys (eteplirsen) 51 to treat DMD, a rare form of muscular dystrophy that affects fewer than 200,000 in the U.S. each year. Sarepta says the drug will cost $300,000 annually per patient, based on weight.

That price tag could have insurers dragging their feet, but three neurologists told RBC they plan to begin prescribing Exondys 51 to all eligible patients. Younger patients are likely to experience more benefit “given the opportunity to preserve muscle function,” Simeonidis said in a research note.

It will likely take one to three months to kick off treatment, and one to two years to see the benefit, the neurologists said. Though determining benefit will be difficult, the neurologists said they’d be unlikely to stop treatment unless safety concerns arose.

“One doc used the analogy of treating someone with high blood pressure, saying there is rarely a point at which you stop treatment,” Simeonidis said.

Simeonidis expects a successful launch once the logistics of reimbursements are ironed out over two to three quarters.

“Given the product’s broad label, its apparent safety (thus far) and the understandable urgency of the DMD patient community to gain immediate access to this agent, we don’t expect reimbursement to end up being a significant issue,” he wrote.

Insurers Won’t Balk At Price, Say Neurologists

The neurologists added insurers are unlikely to balk at the price in the long run.

“Insurance companies ‘don’t want the negative headlines associated with denying coverage,'” Simeonidis wrote that one neurologist said. “Another doc added that the DMD patient community is ‘very vocal and will likely push back themselves if faced with reimbursement issues.’ “

Simeonidis boosted his price target on Sarepta stock to 108 from 83 and kept his outperform rating.

The major price target rise is conservative, he said, arguing in the worst case Sarepta’s IP litigation with Biomarin (BMRN) over Exondys 51 and SRP-4053 (another DMD treatment) could result in as high as a 10% royalty in the U.S. and EU. But that’s unlikely, he said. Other geographies offer more upside.

Exondys 51 is likely to gain attention, too, in the M&A world, “especially for biopharmas looking for commercial assets in the orphan disease space.” Exondys 51’s potential $1 billion-topping sales estimate and Sarepta $3 billion valuation have transformed Sarepta into an attractive acquisition candidate, he said.

Categories: Health Updates

12-year-old Girl Dies Hours After She is Injected with HPV Vaccine

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The family of a 12-year-old girl from Wisconsin who died hours after receiving an HPV vaccine is grieving the loss of their daughter. Meredith Prohaska, described as being an extremely active and healthy girl, passed away on July 30th. [1]

According to a news report, Meredith’s mother took her to the doctor for a sore throat. At the doctor appointment, she received the HPV vaccine. Later in the afternoon, the mother found her daughter unresponsive on the floor, and she was later pronounced dead at the hospital. The parents suspect the vaccine as the primary cause of their daughter’s death. However, Meredith’s autopsy report rules her cause of death as inconclusive. [2]

Medical dogma is immune to “new insights,” especially when it comes from a parent on this topic, specifically. Many families also share Meredith’s story; the pain and emotional suffering is all too familiar. [3]

But despite her death, every excuse will be given to point away from the vaccine – this is called medical indoctrination – and there is a very good reason for doing so. The banal message from medical investigators, likely being to the grieving parents: “We don’t know what killed your daughter, but we know it was not the vaccine … vaccines are proven to be safe and effective. We’re terribly sorry for your loss.”

This is almost the exact message Dr. Geoffrey Swain offered, like a good little parrot, in the news interview immediately following the conversation with the grieving parents. He has an important role calming parents’ fears about vaccines, and his motives to manipulate public opinion were not so obvious, but if you knew he received money from the CDC or an organization that promotes vaccines, you may have a different opinion of him. More on that later in the article.

While it is reported the medical tests for the young girl will take months to get back for an answer, you can take this predictable script from the medical investigators to the bank.

Here’s why…

The System is Protected

Did you know, as an example, global sales for Gardasil, just one of the HPV vaccines manufactured by Merck Pharmaceuticals, were $1.8 billion in 2013? [4]

Did you also know since 2006, over 35,270 adverse events caused by HPV vaccines have been reported to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS)? [5] This certainly isn’t news to government agencies and it shouldn’t be to you, either.

The same companies that manufacture vaccines also create drugs that are the fourth leading cause of death in the United States – they have a bad track record of leaving a path of death and destruction. [6,7]

I say all of this because the hard-to-swallow-truth is this: profits from selling vaccines are protected by law. Profits from selling vaccines must be protected at all costs. And yes – vaccine manufacturers profit in the hundreds of millions every year, peddling their vaccines to doctors and government agencies.

The National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986 (Public Law 99-660) created the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP). Under this program, vaccine manufacturers (and doctors) are given complete immunity from any legal liability if your child is harmed by their product. [8]

This law gives parents, like Meredith’s, few options to seek compensation legally. However, this law does not prohibit you from asking your doctor questions about vaccines or to exempt your child from being injected.

Coincidentally, questioning vaccines is the biggest enemy to pharmaceutical profits and the system. And here’s the kicker: For this system to work; you must be convinced to get your child vaccinated.

Adverse Reactions to Vaccines are Usually Downplayed

In society, it is taboo to question your doctor about vaccines, who, more often than not, act like a “Shot Salesman” or a puppet for the pharmaceutical industry, like Dr. Geoffrey Swain, instead of a medical professional.

During the news report of Meredith Prohaska’s death, Dr. Geoffrey Swain, a professor and medical doctor at the Milwaukee Health Department, states, “Vaccines in general and the HPV vaccine in particular, very, very safe. It’s a very safe vaccine and very effective,” and that, “serious side effects are nearly one in a million …” [2]

Why would Geoffrey downplay the role of vaccines in Meredith Prohaska’s death in a news interview?

Could it be because he received an award from the Centers for Disease Control for over $900,000 to investigate immunization rates? Or possibly because he received over $159,999 from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, a vaccine promoting non profit organization, investigating how school-based clinics could increase immunization rates? [9]

Maybe his roles for the Immunization Task Force for Milwaukee Public Schools, Wisconsin Council on Immunization Practices, and National Immunization Advisory Workgroup, National Association of County & City Health Officials (NACCHO) have some influence on why he promotes vaccines? [9]

Are you sure there isn’t a hidden agenda?

Whatever his motivations are, Meredith Prohaska’s death is a public relations disaster waiting to happen and her autopsy report must remain inconclusive. Admitting a vaccine is at fault for her death would “scare” other parents into not getting their child vaccinated, and that’s certainly not good for business.

One of the most powerful and effective actions you can take on becoming an informed parent, is to start investigating vaccines right now.


The sudden loss of Meredith Prohaska’s young life ending shortly after being vaccinated is a most tragic story.

Sadly, I predict her parents will not get many answers as to the root cause of her death. I understand many of you reading this story can empathize with her parents because you have also met this medically imposed “wall of silence.”

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Nothing could damage the reputation of a company brand more than their vaccine maiming or killing children – this subject is strictly forbidden from being discussed.

Categories: Health Updates

My Disability Isn’t a Negative, It’s A Part Of Me

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Watching Dr Frances Ryan’s brilliant piece “It’s Time to Stop Calling Disabled People Inspirational”, I find myself in complete agreement with her assessment of the media’s interpretation of disability today. The narrative and rhetoric around the Paralympics has been, at times, (quite unwittingly), offensive to many disabled people. Channel 4’s Superhumans campaign particularly did this. The line “There’s no such thing as can’t” perpetuates the idea that those with disabilities who can’t, aren’t working hard enough. I could train for years and I’ll never be a runner! It’s absurd.

Like a lot of disabled people I find that complete strangers ask about my disability or what I’m capable of before even asking for my name, which is so impersonal. And I’ll be honest with you: as a teenager, I worried whether I would ever be able to gain employment. Most of my friends were waitresses and that wasn’t a good fit for me as a wheelchair user.

I’m constantly told that I’m “so inspirational”. My disability isn’t a negative, it’s a part of me, it’s helped form my view of the world, given me determination (or stubbornness), the ability to laugh at myself, and makes me more grateful for the great people in my life. I love my life and I can honestly say given the chance I wouldn’t take my disability away.

But inspiring other people isn’t my goal in life: on expeditions in the past to Borneo and Kenya – I’ve always been told how brave I am. I’m not brave, I’m 23 and I like travelling! It’s that simple. All Olympians (able-bodied and Paralympians) are universally considered to be inspirational – but that should be due to their hard work, dedication and skill – not whether they have fully functioning body parts.

During my apprenticeship I have been given the opportunity to prove myself, to work hard and be given the same opportunities as any able bodied young person. I work in a field that judges on ability, not appearances. I work in building that’s fully accessible – which makes all the difference.

One of the hardest things for me is making sure that I don’t get too tired; but I’ve learned to manage my workload and my tiredness levels by making sure that I’m in a good routine. I also have flexible working hours which allow me to access medical appointments if necessary. I’ve made a lot of good friends in my job and I don’t feel that my disability affected my application in any way – my advice to others is that if you don’t view your disability as an obstacle other people won’t either.

One of key issues I think that will make it much easier for differently abled people is easier transportation. This one thing will level the playing field for disabled people as we will be able to gain far better access to jobs. It’s getting there – but there’s still a long way to go – but it might be more useful to address these practical obstacles first…

The media are slowly improving with greater representation and visibility but really the way disabled people are represented needs to be more carefully considered. Producers and editors need to ensure they are represented as an equal member of society and that their own stories are represented in a way that they are happy with. I don’t believe disability always has to be viewed as a negative thing.

I would love to get to a stage where people are just people and disability is seen as a difference in ability rather than a negative or a description of someone.

Holly has just completed her apprenticeship with IBM. She’s a part of the Get In Go Far campaign incentive to encourage more young people with disabilities to apply for apprenticeships. For more information about apprenticeships, please visit:

Categories: Health Updates

Cure For Baldness: Drug Restores Hair In 75% Of Alopecia Areata Patients

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Scientists may have just discovered a cure for people who have experienced baldness due to severe hair loss conditions.

The drug ruxolitinib has been found to restore hair growth in 75% of patients withalopecia areata, the second most common form of hair loss.

Currently there are no known treatments that can completely restore hair.

One of the patients’ hair before and after treatment with the drug. 

Alopecia areata can occur at any age and affects men and women equally.

The autoimmune disease attacks the hair follicles, often resulting in hair loss on the scalp. Some patients also experience facial and body hair loss.

In its first small clinical trial, a drug called ruxolitinib was found to restore hair growth in the majority of patients.

The 12 patients who took part in the trial were given 20 mg of oral ruxolitinib, twice a day, for three to six months.

Incredibly, three quarters of them experienced hair growth.

By the end of treatment, average hair regrowth among patients was 92%.

“Although our study was small, it provides crucial evidence that JAK inhibitors may constitute the first effective treatment for people with alopecia areata,” said Dr Julian Mackay-Wiggan, associate professor and director of the clinical research unit in dermatology at Columbia University Medical Center (CUMC).

“This is encouraging news for patients who are coping with the physical and emotional effects of this disfiguring autoimmune disease.”

After treatment with the drug has stopped, one third of those who had experience regrowth suffered significant hair loss once more – although hair loss did not reach pre-treatment levels.

“Our findings suggest that initial treatment induces a high rate of disease remissions in patients with moderate to severe alopecia areata but maintenance therapy may be needed,” said Dr Mackay-Wiggan.

“While larger, randomised trials are needed to confirm the safety and efficacy of ruxolitinib in people with moderate to severe alopecia areata, our initial results are very encouraging.”

Angela Christiano from Columbia University Medical Center hailed the findings as “astounding”.

Categories: Health Updates

What to Expect When you Marry a Narcissist

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If you are planning to marry a narcissist, here is a list of things to expect in your relationship.  Realize that you will be marrying a person who is incapable of having a healthy, intimate, interpersonal relationship because narcissism is a characterological disorder. Your marriage will be the most important relationship in your life; be wise in who you select to commit to.  If you marry a narcissist you will be uniting with a person who does not have empathy.  Empathy is necessary for sensitivity to others’ feelings and compassion.  While you may not be physically hit or physically abused in this relationship, your heart will be broken 10,000 times.  Even if you think you are a “strong” person and can handle it; your strength is not really strength, but rather, denial.  The following list is not exhaustive, but it is informative:

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  1. He will always define the terms.
  2. You will live by a set of double standards.
  3. You will not be listened to.
  4. He will never resolve a conflict.
  5. He will rarely consider your feelings; and will only do so if it serves him some how.
  6. He will never apologize.
  7. What will matter most to him is how he appears to others.
  8. He will ruin all of your birthdays and holidays (probably  because somehow he needs to make everything about him.)
  9. There will be little to no mutuality, collaboration or cooperation.
  10. Your expectations will be managed down to mere crumbs; to the point where you will be happy just because he isn’t giving you the silent treatment, yelling at you, or cheating on you.
  11. You will never win.
  12. Your value will be diminished to the point of nothingness in his eyes.  In fact, mere strangers will hold more weight in his eyes than you will.
  13. He will tend to make you his scapegoat.
  14. He will dump his shame and rage on to you.
  15. Simple conversations will become crazy-making endeavors.
  16. You will find yourself walking on eggshells.
  17. You will lose yourself because you will be trained to focus only on his feelings and reactions; never mind yours.
  18. You will experience the silent treatment.
  19. You will experience cognitive dissonance, confabulation, and gas lighting.
  20. You will find yourself telling a grown adult how to have normal interactions with others.
  21. Your relationship will revolve on a cycle:  waiting – hoping – hurting – being angry – forgiving – forgetting – again.
  22. He will blame you for all of the problems in the relationship.
  23. You will blame yourself.
  24. He will use your weaknesses against you.
  25. You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the N acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
  26. He will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
  27. He will not do his fair share of household responsibilities.
  28. He will come and go as he pleases.
  29. When you try to hold him accountable he will fly into a rage.
  30. He will not answer questions directly.
  31. He will never ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.”  He will never show concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something he cares about.)
  32. You will feel stuck and unable to leave him.
  33. You will miss him and wait for him all the time.
  34. He will project his bad behaviors onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him – neither is accurate.
  35. When you finally break because of his crazy making behaviors and the insanity of the relationship, he will call you are a lunatic, others will think you are a lunatic, and you, yourself, will believe that you are just as bad as him (realize, there is no moral equivalence between expressing frustration and intentional abuse.)
  36. No one else will see it (except maybe the kids.) This will cause you to question your reality.
  37. The entire experience will result in trauma for you because it is interpersonal violence.
  38. You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.
  39. If you go to couples counseling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you.  (Please realize you do not have a marriage problem, your partner has a mental illness.)
  40. You will pay a big price should you ever tell your loved one, “No.”

I could go on and on and on, but 40 points are enough for now.  You get the picture.

I am using the pronoun, “He” when these problems could apply to either gender.  Remember, there is no “one size fits all” description of anyone, even a narcissist.  These behaviors are general and in degrees, depending on the unique personality of your loved one.  That being said, it really is amazing how similar these people are.  Even if your narcissist is a parent, the relationship dynamics tend to be the same as with a narcissistic spouse.

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